PSLE model composition “An exciting adventure”
In this post, we are using a PSLE model composition (based on the following topic) written by one of our Primary 6 pupils to illustrate the specific areas of concern.
Refer to the highlighted sections for the specific areas of concern in the following PSLE model composition.
There are pupils who still struggle to find an appropriate starting point for their stories. The key is the story should sound complete to the reader.
When writing about an event or competition, it is ideal to choose a starting point just before the start of the event or competition.
Pupils should also get to the point fairly quickly. This means that pupils should not write more than one paragraph for the start of the story.
As according to the given topic, pupils will have to include the picture and emphasize it in the main event / climax of the story. However, we will suggest to include the picture right at the start of the story, whenever possible. This ensures the constant emphasis on the picture throughout the story.
In our previous post on top exam tips for the PSLE exam , exam tip 4 states more is not always better. Pupils should know which parts of a story to emphasize and which parts to not write as much.
In this case, the initial conflict of getting lost should be written with lesser detail. Focusing too much on this conflict is not likely to fit the title “An exciting adventure”. Getting lost in itself is not necessarily considered exciting.
Just like negative titles which require a specific writing strategy, so do such positive titles.
For such a positive title, it is extremely important to set the right tone for the story. This means that a lighter tone should be used to maintain the positivity.
In this model composition, the additional complication of a monkey seizing the camera injects excitement into the story without being too serious a situation.
Besides being a positive title, “an exciting adventure” is also considered as an indirect title as it does not clearly show a moral / life lesson.
The key is to choose a moral value which can be easily connected to such a title.
In this case, the moral value of teamwork and cooperation generally suits titles based on adventures.
As illustrated in the model composition, the moral value of teamwork and cooperation is clearly shown in the scene that the group cooperated to retrieve the camera.
With a scene which clearly shows the moral value, a strong conclusion can be written about what was learnt from the adventure.
Pupils commonly explain an event by how it “suddenly” happens. As emphasized in our previous post, markers always appreciate a good story flow. This means one event should clearly lead to the next.
An example is how the group stumbled back onto the trail while running away from the monkey.
Besides including the title in the conclusion, pupils should strive to emphasize the title in the story. It is important for pupils note that there is no one fixed point to do so.
However pupils can generally insert the title either in the main event or the resolution of the story.